When Your Ex’s Friend Shoots His Shot...
- Jul 25
- 2 min read
Updated: Aug 23
Because sometimes the past doesn’t knock — it DMs you.
We weren’t even officially divorced yet when one of his friends started flirting with me. Not just any ex's friend, one of those New Orleans DJs everyone knows.
The kind of man whose name gets dropped in stories that start with, “So there was this one night on Bourbon…” He’s talented, magnetic, and used to being the center of attention.
I live in Oregon now, far from the humidity, the music, and the mess I left behind - although I miss the city so much and the people, including the men, as well as the gorgeous southern men with their manners. Different life, different air. But when he reached out — out of nowhere — it was as if New Orleans had found a way to text me. It seems that this is something that happens quite often, actually.
At first, it seemed harmless. “How you been?” turned into “You look happy and healthy these days. You have always been so damn pretty.” Then came the late-night messages, smooth, familiar, and unnecessary. Compliments with too much history tucked behind them, like, unless you’re on a plane over here to Oregon, why? Just, why?
And part of me felt that old pull, that southern pull. The validation. The reminder that someone still saw me, not as a mom, not as the woman who left, but as me. But then reality hit: this man lives a thousand miles away, and more importantly, he belongs to a life I’ve already outgrown, plus, again. WHY?
That’s what made it hit harder, realizing that sometimes temptation isn’t about what you want now, it’s about what your ego remembers needing. I didn’t say yes, but I didn’t shut it down as fast as I could’ve either. Maybe because part of healing is testing the edges of your new boundaries.
When you start over, your past will always find small ways to ask, “Are you sure you’ve moved on?” Sometimes that question shows up as a text from a DJ in another state. And sometimes, the real flex is not answering it, even though if he was here? I’m pretty sure he’d be my DJ lol.
